Celeste Bull Bear- The Girl I was Scared of
The incident where it happened was Old Sun Residential School. Well, the dorms, the junior girl’s dorm. Well, I don’t know how old I was when I started, when I attended the residential school. I know I was about 8, 8 years old when I went to residential school. Yeah, I was 8 years old and well, I, you know… like I didn’t really get, you know like, abused or anything like that. But I did get it from my friends or the other girls that attended residential school.
I was, you know, like, that’s where I got it from. And I remember that one time, when one of the girls were playing jacks. and I was playing with her, that girl, and I don’t know what happened. The ball rolled away and I went to get it and I sat back down. And I don’t know, she just started crying that girl, and that’s when her sister came. Her sister came, and she was telling me “what happened to her? What did you do to her?” I told her, “I didn’t do anything to her, she just started crying.”
I was going to pick them up, so I was on my knees picking up the jacks. And she just kicked me, right in the forehead. With her, she had, I still remember she had white shoes on and they were really pointy and she just kicked me in the forehead. And I didn’t want to cry because it hurt so bad because she kicked me really hard. And I was touching my forehead it was kind of like it was dented. And so that part that happened to me.
The other part was the same one, it was always the same one that abused me. The other time was in the girl’s bathroom, she was pushing my head, like banging my head against the wall. That person was telling me that I was — at that time I didn’t know what that word meant– but she was telling me that I was a bastard and that my dad wasn’t Walker Bear Chief. She was just punching me like in the stomach and just pushing, throwing me against the wall.
I didn’t know, I didn’t even know, there was these two girls that came in. They were going to use the bathroom. They helped me, they pushed her away and that’s was how I got free from her. And I was really scared and I’ve been really scared of that girl for… even to this day, when I see her, I’m scared of her. Even though I’m grown up, you know, I could fight back if she was ever to do that again but that’s how I felt. I was really scared of her. And there was times where, you know, she starts to call names. She always called me names and they were were really, you know, like swear words she used on me. I remember, and some of those words.I was still young, I didn’t really know them, what they meant, but at that time I just knew they weren’t good; you know good names. And that’s about all I can remember.
– Celeste Bull Bear (Bear Chief)
Notes:
Oral interview with Celeste Bull Bear (Bear Chief). Conducted, translated, and transcribed by Gwendora Bear Chief. Old Sun Community College, March 28, 2022.
