Roanna Axe- I Hated Staying Here

My name is Roanna Axe, I’m from Siksika Nation. I’m going to tell a story about what happened when I was attending Old Sun School, Residential. Some of what I can remember.

When I was going to school, in that white building, it was attached to that old building. Mr. Brown was our teacher, I forget 1 or grade 2, I think.  Anyways I’d seen things that happened in there, what I didn’t feel good about. It got me really scared that Mr. Brown was always hitting with his hands like karate chops. And that, well this person has passed away, I still remember (Tyrone Yellow Old Woman) but I don’t even remember what happened to him…

But anyways, that Mr. Brown he just grabbed him and kicked him. You know, really hard and he landed on the floor and everyone one us just, you know, we were really scared. And his face, how angry he was, his face just turned red that Mr. Brown. To do that to us, and his strappings would really hurt, around our wrists they would be just bruised up and would be red, and would really hurt, and would just swell up. We all really hated him that person, I thought he was a person who prayed and for him to do that to us. Had was a mean person.

We were all scared of him. We would be happy when it’s over in our classrooms. Ya [expression] but then we would be scared again the next day when we see him. We would have to be sitting there not talking, especially in our language or else we get strapped. Then it went on like that… and then, over the years, and yeah. He was really bad, that old man. He never smiled at us and he wasn’t nice to us. He was just like abusing us with strapping with his [whispers] what do you call them? [normal] rulers. With those long rulers and ah.

So that’s it in my classroom.  And then here [Old Sun] where we sleep, it’s ah, the junior dorm with that… [pause] gee, I forget- yes the supervisor for the junior dorm. Gee I forget. Oh anyways, anyways that woman was mean too, it seems like all of them the supervisors and the principal were all of them it seems they were so mean. I felt like they didn’t like us. They just treated us any way they wanted to. I didn’t like it.

That’s why when we used to go home, I told my mother what was going on and I hated to go back to the school. I would just keep crying, and they would calm me down by giving me an orange… they would take me upstairs. Because of these things I did not like staying there. But I seen some of the girls being put in the corner of the dormitory and we would have to stand there for a long time. That lady, I forget her name, but anyways she was so mean.

Then there was that other lady, she was another one who never smiled or even to be nice to us. There was some favoritism. One time, like our runners were so tattered, me and Eileen. They were so worn, our runners. Still we didn’t get new ones. We would bring them downstairs and would stand in line. I forget who was checking and looking at our runners. She just told us, “Oh you guys are okay.”

Another time we thought we would show them. We tore our runners more just so that we could get new shoes. We were looking at others and some of the others and some of them had new runners, you know those black and white… and we tore up our shoes. She looked at us and told us, “When did this happen? Yesterday they were okay.”

“Oh we have been wearing these. You mean ‘okay’ when they are all, like you know, all torn up.”

She said, “No you are not getting shoes, no, no runners or nothing.” She didn’t let us get new ones, me and Eileen. And they were old, but I just cried. So I guess we have to stick to ours.

Well, there were a lot of things going on at Old Sun School. I just hated staying here. I would hate to see some of them are that were crying, standing in the corners and then some were being strapped. And that time in the mornings, I didn’t like it, they used… they forced us to eat porridge and those spinach ya [expression]. I used to dread knowing what is going to happen. I would just cry, and I didn’t want to cry in front of them because they were so mean. Probably they would place us upstairs or the corner. I would look towards my younger brother Randall, and I hope this, I hope nothing happens to him like someone to hit him.

– Roanna Axe

Notes:

Oral interview with Roanna Axe. Conducted, translated, and transcribed by Angeline Ayoungman. Old Sun Community College, April 4, 2022.